What is a Calling?

I have a been on a journey to find out what "calling" means for, well, my entire life, really. But this past year, more specifically since the beginning of last summer, I've really felt a more concrete definition of calling has begun to emerge in me.

It started with a series at our church a little over a year ago called "the napkin dream"- the premise being, jot down your dreams and hopes and aspirations on the nearest napkin, and start taking steps towards those dreams {in a nutshell}.

When that ballpoint pen met that white napkin, I knew instantly the first thing that I would sketch. It was obviously, really, as it had sat at the back of my mind for a little over 6 years, often hiding behind other possibilities and life circumstances, yet, always sitting there, steadily waiting. 

When I picked up a camera just after Haden was born, that light started growing. I knew it was right, that feeling of peaking through that small square hole and capturing how I saw the world. Two years later and I had shared with a few select few what dream had been there all along- that little light that continued to grow-but I wasnt yet ready to share that dream with everyone. 

When Haden was just a year old, I had settled into my ryhtym of parenthood and continued to feel that tug at my heart. I knew what it was, but fear held me back from moving foward with it. Too many unanswered questions and hesitations regarding what it would all mean for me to persue it. 

Yet, there it sat. Still waiting for me to uncover it, cultivate it, embrace it- but most of all, it waited for me to let go of the fear that continued to keep it buried. 

I will always remember the day when I shared how I was feeling with Kellen. He never has been one to sugarcoat the truth. He had been one of the select few I had really shared that dream with, and now he was doing what needed to be done to get me there- a swift kick in the butt. From then on, I always remember and consider him as my "kick in the butt person"- that one person you don't always like in your life but in the end, they are the ones that help you grow the most. God knew I needed that when He brought us together. 

A kick in the butt was all I needed to take that leap. 

That was 7 months ago. 

Here's the thing. 

A calling isn't necessarily a thing you do for money. It doesn't fit inside a pretty, little, perfect square box and it's not always cut from a cookie cutter mold. It can change and grow and transform as we live. It is different from person to person.

What it is, though, is a gift. A unique gift you've been given. Your heart, your mind, all of you lights up with life when you cultivate it. And that is all were asked to do- to cultivate it- whatever that looks like for you. 

Rebekah Lyons book, "Freefall to Fly" helped me to understand this more. Her words helped me realize one very specific and important lesson- if you DO NOT cultivate and use your gift, you are doing yourself, your family, and your society an absolute disservice.

Howard Thurman said "Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

I genuinely, wholeheartedly believe this. 

YOU have been given a gift. What is it? How can you cultivate it today?