I was recently reflecting on my life just a year ago today. One year ago, I had a newborn and a 1 year old (almost two). Life was hard, but I truly believe I tried to remain positive and seize every perfect, simple moment life gave me with two little ones. I did, and still do, stop every so often to make sure I am in each and every moment. Jim Elliott said it best: "Wherever you are, be all there"- and so I've reflected and focused on those words in those moments.
That being said, it wasn't always easy. There were so many time I felt frustrated and angry, and then I felt guilty for feeling that way. I was supposed to be happy and thankful with my blessings, and really, I was. But moments of unhappiness because of just simply life- a baby that wouldn't stop crying late in the night, a temper tantrum in public- they all brought much more guilt than they ever should have.
Here's the thing that we do to ourselves: we talk and think and share about how kids grow up so fast. How every single moment must be lived to the fullest, breathed in, enjoyed, and cherished. And yes, of course that is important.
Here's the thing that we do to ourselves: we talk and think and share about how kids grow up so fast. How every single moment must be lived to the fullest, breathed in, enjoyed, and cherished. And yes, of course that is important.
But we are humans. And not being able to give ourselves a break to just feel what we feel is detrimental. I know, because I felt it. I know what it was like to have to feel like I couldn't have any unhappy moments. It wore me down and it made me even more frustrated in the end.
Yes, it is true that wherever you are, you can be all there. Even in those moments of frustrations, and exhaustion, and being at your wits end. Those feelings are normal, they are ok and please, please- just allow yourself to live there for that moment and be true to what you're feeling. Not guilty because you feel them. Knowing that those feelings are part of life, in all it's beautiful chaos. It's ups and downs and everything in between. Your feelings are justified because they are unique to you and your life- they are no one else's.
It's ok to feel how you feel today- joy, happiness, frustration, anger, bliss. Do not feel guilty of how you feel because you will only deny yourself the ability to be truly honest. And only when you are truly honest with yourself can you begin to create a life for which you can truly feel fulfilled.
"I'm good because I should be...right?"
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