Little Glimpses

Sometimes, I think about my childhood. Especially now- being a mom to two young children, I try to think back to what my life was like at the tiny little age of 3 or 1. I realize now, that looking back all I can remember are little glimpses. Small little scenes in life that captured a distinct memory. The time I cut my pants up with scissors (I had to have been younger than two?), the teddy bear sorters in my preschool class (the same ones my son has been playing with every day this week), my dad playing me records on my Sesame Street record player. 

As I drove down the road today on the way to Haden's school, we danced to a song on the radio. He kept yelling "louder, louder mom" and I had an instant flashback to a time when I was younger- maybe 6 or 7- and I yelled in the house. I was just being a kid- silly, loud, annoying, I'm sure- but I remember being thrilled when my mom returned my shouting with good humored shouting of her own. I have no idea what we were yelling about- whatever it was, it was fun. And it struck me just how cool my mom was in that moment for not only accepting me and not scolding me, but joining in too. After all, sometimes a kid just needs to be loud. 

It's funny how memories become just these small little glimpses in time. And I think about that often as a mom. What will my kids remember? Will they remember every time I told them I couldn't play with them or when I lost my temper and shouted? 

The answer is no, probably not. I bet what they will remember is the time I said yes- the time I took today to have a dance party with them or tickle them on the couch. 

I don't write this to say "I should have more of those moments"- no- if there's one thing I get tired of in a social media mommy world it's feeling guilty for not being a completely perfect parent. I'm writing this to remind myself a very simple fact: you're doing a good job. And someday, your kids will think back, laugh, and remember those little glimpses. They will remember the good ones because those were the times that encompassed what our life was authentically about. That even though frustrations and tempers sometimes showed their ugly faces, what we truly and wholeheartedly knew was love. Those remembered little glimpses will demonstrate that.